Tuesday, March 07, 2006

5-4-3-5-3-1 EXXXPLOSIOIN!

future plans for a perfect future

legally change my last name to succulent
marry into royalty and become a count
become count succulent
run for president
president succulent
get my mess of a mind in one straight line...cohesion? yup
live the serge gainsbourg lifestyle
find a place to hide from everything that disgusts me
find a slaughterhouse and camp outside of it overnight and record the sounds and get scared.
fuck a burrito
hang out in a truckstop restroom all night and record the truckers talking to themselves while leaving a shit.
use insta-tan on my back to spell out HAIL SATAN and go swimming or just run naked through grocery stores.
figure out what europe is all about...it's practically an alien planet to me...i'm dying to check it out.
eat pussy wearing a mexican wrestling mask

Sunday, February 19, 2006

trannymission #1

if i had a time machine i'd go into the future and bring back my skeleton...and keep it in the corner of my favorite room....what's that theory if you are trapped in a room for a night...well you don't have to be trapped...but anyways...whever you lay down would be "your" spot...if you ask me it's bullshit. cause my bed moves around the room like crazy. maybe it's not bullshit...maybe that's why i can't get no sleep. honestly i do not claim to know anything....i merely exist...all i know is that i need to get out and do some jigglin' i'm cooped up in the house all the time cause...yeah not much jigglin' to be done at 9:30 am! i wanna go on dates and show a special lady an A #1 awesome time.

anyone staring at this monitor ever seen brazil? i'm in love with that movie....i won't go into it cause you should see it for yourself....speaking of movies and such..i finally saw dancer in the dark! it's one of those movies that you should've seen long ago that slipped past you somehow...i'm a big bjork fan so yeah i'm already established with the character....and i love uncomfortable moments in film...like brazil had that same vibe going on with it...terry gilliam refered to it as "film rape" cause you just feel so horrible watching it but can't help yourself...if you haven't seen dancer in the dark...FUCK...i won't go into that either! watch it...the ending is very grabbing....

i smoke reefer.

what would you do if you could stop time? me? well first off i'd take a long contemplative shit....after i got that all figured out i'd strut my shit down the street goosing girls on the asses and making jackoff motions to all the guys i'd pass by.... i'd do all the things that would make sense like nab a buncha money and all kindsa loot that i'd want....and play santa clause too!!! i'd stop time and just swipe shit from stupid stripmall stores and put in peoples houses....but i'd put it in the bathroom to confuse further generations about the meaning of xmas...cause i'd become a urban legend and then i would have to power of confusing the fuck out of the future...fuck em....people from the future are jerks anyways...knowing when we die and all. hahahaha and they touuuhk ouer jawerbs!

we have the privilage of living under the worst president ever.

one thing i know about leftwing fundamental christians is they are mean and hate alot...and i bet their families are either molested or beat or both everyday...fuck those people....evil spawning evil...bah now i'll go onto the only thing you should follow up a rant about polotics with...MASTURBATION!
one thing i love to do before yankin my white rope is talk shit to it...you dirty fucking pecker! stupid bastard!!!

what i'm getting at here is (to me!) polotics and masturbation are one in the same...i only pay attention when a girl is blathering on about it masturbation/politics but when a fella does...shit i could care less and won't listen...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA
am i a villian? fuck it...whoever tells you otherwise is a liar and won't fess to up the truth...people that drabble on about that stuff are almost always self centered cunts to begin with.

i need to have a LSD trip...it's been awhile...there isn't a single thing like saying goodbye to reality as you know it for some 8 hours and thinking you got the whole universe figured out and all....man...last time i did mushrooms i would up at a fucking ballies....rallies? fuck, some place where people go to work out...IT WAS STUPID! i wound up wandering the lockerroom/restroom/shower area looking for a urinal! i took a horrible wrong turn and standing before me buck fucking naked were 4 big black dudes!! and what did they see? some fucking honkey with a skeleton shirt on tripping his fucking face off! i slowly slinked away and found the pisser...and man....forget what i said about dropping psychoactive drugs and going to a workout place!! they're ideal!! mirrors everywhere weird ass machines that make exhaust sounds....people breathing heavy and all that.....man....very mind bending....

fuck working out...it's for the birds

i believe in the noble aristocratic art of doing absolutley nothing
and i hope one day to be in a position where i can do less.